Too Scared To Blog!

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Too Scared To Blog!

In the last few weeks I’ve been a Blogging, Twitter and Face book voyeur observer, keeping my head down as I read posts, status updates and tweets trying to immerse myself into  the blogosphere and attempting to learn from everyone. I have found awesome new bloggers and made an effort to leave comments or at least re-tweet. I have seen some amazing supportive outcomes from bloggers and readers donating when asked, wonderful words of advice and support and also the not so nice -just like the real world.

Blogging is the real world online, with one major difference you can hide behind anonymity, or you can be yourself and a lot more bolshy as you feel your blood boil when you read a blog you don’t agree with, or see status that drives you nuts. This is all OK, I read posts I don’t agree with, I read blogs that contradict each other as they battle over the same topic and I can appreciate where both blogs are coming from.  Some blogs are very tongue in cheek, some are right in your face, everyone is different. I see stuff on Face Book that either makes me cringe or annoyed -this is human nature. We are all different and at times so very different.

It’s My Blog

So many posts I’ve read recently start with “I was scared to publish this blog” or “I’m ready for the onslaught” that I started to get doubts in my own head. Sure I’ve had my share of emails and comments of being a bad mother, living in a fantasy world, and so much worse. When I first blogged back in June 2011 these comments use to really fire me up I was angry, did they not read what I was saying fully ? They have misread what I’m saying. I wrote that wrongly I should not have published that blog.

Today I’ve realised it’s my blog I can write what I like, and so can you. We as bloggers set our own boundaries, we have our own values and integrity. My experience is with children and Alzheimer’s so that’s my blog. I try not to sound condescending when I blog, I certainly don’t tell you how to parent, I blog about my experiences with the children I work with, my own two kids, my mum and the passion I have which is child behaviour.

Variety is the Spice of Blogs

We all have a lot on our plate and we come from a variety of backgrounds and situations, no one can really know 100% why you are like you are. We have different expectations, a diversity in what we believe and the values that we hold, so that applies to what we blog about. Even on blogs I don’t necessaritly agree with I can normally find something to learn about that blogger even if it’s a minimal connection in that we both blog.

There is so much going on in our real worlds that is absolutely horrendous that at times I think we need to take a little step back before venting and raging and attacking a blogger, is it worth the slog? Maybe it is, I prefer to walk away most of the time. Maybe I’m too soft or my plate is too full with the real life issues I deal with at home with mum or the children I work with who have been through hell, or I give a lot of benefit of the doubt as I don’t know the whole scenario leading to that post.  I read and follow so many bloggers that are completely chalk and cheese, but this is what I love, this is behaviour at is rawest form. The voices in our head are all different. I’ve read things that have made question humanity to it’s basest form and I’ve read things that have made me believe in human kindness -behaviour is complex and there is more good in the blogosphere than bad.

I like to see blogging as a vast newsagent rack full of magazines, I flick through the ones I like, I read what I want and don’t read what I don’t like. I’ve been writing blogs and getting worried that I shouldn’t publish them  and rewrite them a zillion times because I don’t want anyone to leave a bad comment and I’ve come to realised that there is now way in the world you can keep the  whole blogosphere happy, just like the real world. This is me and  I choose to write from the heart and that’s what I’ll continue doing I hope you do too, the blogosphere is massive there is room for everyone to find a connection with some-one’s blogging -blog your heart out, delete the nasty comments and hold your head up high -This is YOUR Blog, YOUR space and YOUR Thoughts.

I have made some amazing frienships online and for that I’m so very grateful, they’ve kept me sane in my saddest moments and they’ve made me laugh so hard that my hubby thinks I’m insane -it’s a double edged sword- there’s ups and downs just like life and behaviour.

BE YOU. BE YOUR BLOG.

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Nathalie Brown

Child Behaviour Consultant at Easy Peasy Kids
Child Behaviourist and researcher. Creator of "Less tantrums. More smiles". I look at the bigger picture and think outside the box when working with children and their behaviour. Their world is different. As adults we sometimes forget this. Happiness Creator in my spare time. Eater of chocolate and cake.

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Comments

  1. Well said! Be authentic :)

  2. So very well said. I try to filter all the stuff that makes me question my blog content and just do what feels right for me. I hate the term authentic. Surely if you don’t feel comfortable to write what you want to on your own blog that’s inauthentic anyway? xx

  3. Hear, Hear! It totally agree – it’s YOUR blog and those of us who want to hear what you have to say LOVE it!

    I am thinking of starting a personal blog soon, so I can separate myself from my biz… I am finding that I want to say stuff that is perhaps not “on brand”, but is still very much a part of me. It’s a fine line, but I think you walk it very well.

    I also pick very carefully which blogs I read – ones that make me feel inspired, uplifted and encouraged. It’s MY LIFE and I want it to be a positive one.

  4. “Be you. Be your blog.” I like how you put that, and I couldn’t agree more!

  5. Great advice, Peasy. We each have a unique voice and there will always be someone who loves what we have to say, and then invariably someone else who is annoyed/offended by it.

    I find myself doing that too…hesitating before I hit publish. Since I’ve pulled back from blogging lately I think I’ve re-centered myself. I’m writing simply what feels right and not thinking about the audience and how they might react. x

  6. Well said Nat. I think you already know my views on this one!
    x

  7. Great post! I think it’s important that we all remember what we have to say is valid whether anyone reads it or not! I find writing my blog helps me to work through what I’m thinking and feeling and to get back on an even keel if I feel unbalanced. People reading it is just a bonus!

    And I too have met some amazing people online! *looks at you* :)

    • We all have are own internal battles so if it helps to blog about it do it and you might manage to help someone else, make someone laugh or someone think then that’s what its all about xxx

  8. Carolyn says:

    Totally agreed :)

  9. Thumbs up for authenticity.

    • Hey Madam Bipolar ;) thanks for stopping by, looking forward to alonger chat next time IRL. Love the way you write, your honesty and I know you are helping so many xx

  10. I seem to have missed all the bad stuff that has everyone all fired up and for this I am grateful!

    I totally agree with you Nat. When I first started blogging I would re-read my post a million times and try to wipe out any possible misconceptions or opportunities for people to take what I have written the wrong way. Which meant that I was presenting as the world’s greatest fence sitter – without a strong view one way or another!

    So now I write the way I talk and press “PUBLISH” and happily welcome views alternative to mine, or even the odd misunderstanding … so long as they are presented in a respectful way :)

    • Kelly I too welcome different views and of course at times there are misunderstandings we are only human but like you say respectful is important too :) Glad I’m not the only one who was the greatest fence sitter x

  11. Totally agree Nat. And I love the magazine stand analogy. I was nodding along to your post and being all serious and then you mentioned your husband and I couldn’t help but remember the time he kept trying to make a balloon animal at a child’s birthday party but the balloon was not cooperating and he kept making something else entirely. Hilarious. I still laugh when I think about it.

  12. Great post! I’m new to blogging and still learning so much so posts like these always offer great perspective. Thanks.

  13. So true Nathalie.. So often I’m hesitant I’ll offend or face an onslaught. But then I receive emails from people telling me I’ve saved their life and I stop doubting.
    Be authentic. :)

    • For one onslaught you have helped many others, Carly I remember meeting you last year and you couldn’t me more authentic and also an amazing inspiration xx

  14. Good Golly Miss Holly! says:

    … and sometimes it’s good to be a little controversial too ;)

    • Controversial posts add to the spice of blogs, you just have to be prepared for the other opinions and I learnt that lesson over my Face book posts, another passion of mine ;)

  15. Amen ! I am by choice a fence sitter when i blog.I keep my opinions to myself when commenting on controversy too.

  16. Oh, so well said. I’ve had a bit of bloggie slow-down myself as I take another re-think on where I’m headed. Most of all the blog is for me and anyone reading and hopefully giving feedback and advice is just a bonus. I read a post recently from a certain blogger about what others must do and don’t if we expected that blogger to read and comment on our posts. And I thought: If I have to do all that I’d much rather you didn’t! I’m not posting to a formula, or to win a competition, or attract advertising. (Though that would be nice). Mostly I’m writing for me, to journal my life and that of my family, and to hopefully do a bit of good. Apparently, running competitions is a no-no now too, but I make nothing out of doing them. I offer competitions – and only those which I think are of interest and worthwhile followers entering – because they are a kind of give-back or thank-you to my followers. And I make entry easy. If I’m putting potential readers off by making someone happy by having a brand give them a nice prize, then I’ll offend away.

    • It’s been a big learning curve for me especially with give aways etc… And like you I do enjoy giving back to the readers of my blog. I have seen so much into other people’s lifes through their blog and learnt so much just wish I had more time to leave comments or mention them when I can. Thanks for your comment and yes advertising would be fab I am running a business too xxxx

  17. Great post Nat. I’ve gathered my courage and posted something today that I have wanted to blog about for years but been scared too. However it came up at our marriage counselling and I thought ‘If blogging about autism and parenting made me feel less alone, then perhaps blogging about this will too’.

    • Marita I find everything you blog I learn something from you hands on experience is invaluable and I know it helps so many, please feel free to share your post on my FB page xx

  18. Yes we all blog in different ways and we need to respect how people use it as an outlet. I like short blogs that are focussed but regardless I love to leave comments on others blogs and see comments on mine too. It makes me feel that people want to listen and are interested in what I am saying.

  19. Sharon says:

    Well said Nathalie, I have two posts “lingering” in draft which I will now re-visit, so thanks for this post. Hope you & yours are well xxx

  20. Like previous commenters….I’m digging your authenticity Nat. Something that shines through in all your written word x

  21. I think we all get to this point as bloggers. I know I have. There’s something liberating about it. I love every post I have read of yours (including this one). And I like how you say people can pick and choose what they read. For me: I think it’s important not to waste time trying to hold on to readers. Instead, I aim to create something of value with my blog that I hope will be useful to readers, and something they will want to come back to.

    I’m off now to speak to a group of school children about blogging. And one of the things I am going to say is BE YOURSELF! YAY!

    xxxx

    • Kelly wow have fun with the school kids, I have the teens I work with blogging away and releasing their inner voice and its just awesome. You be a Fun Mumblog always teaches me something new I can relate to what you say so much xxxx

  22. Great comments Nathalie. Finding content is always a challenge, particularly for niche blogs. However, I suspect readers are tolerant of some diversions from the main theme as long as they don't overpower the core reasons why they're visiting your site.

  23. Merryl says:

    Fascinating post. I’m not a blogger yet … maybe one day.

    Target

  24. Sandra Biggs says:

    Well said I much prefer to read honest opinions even if I don't agree, at least I can respect their conviction.

  25. Bianca Wordley says:

    So very true honey x.

  26. Perfectly said. x

  27. Kathryn Hodges says:

    1000x YES!

    I sometimes read the “how to” blogs and think obviously, I don’t know anything.
    Then I come back to my blue page, and let the words run out, mindful of those close to me who may read them (because that’s how I roll), asking questions of myself and how I operate (because that’s how I roll).

    And … we have a choice about what we read! If you don’t like it, close the page and move on (and absolutely the same if you don’t like me).

    K xx

Trackbacks

  1. […] Two and half years ago I began blogging, prior to this I use to write my thoughts up on my Easy Peasy Kids Facebook page. I honestly didn’t know that anyone could set up a blog and write. Thinking you had to be well-known somewhere on this planet to have readers. Being a newbie and having no preconceived ideas was pretty awesome and often embarrassing. My naivety approved spam comments “I love everything you writing”, sad I know. Having no idea was probably one of the best things ever. I wrote without care, without worrying and without being scared. […]

  2. […] child behaviour. Behaviour covers so many areas including blogging behaviour Blogging has no set rules. In saying that I strongly believe we need more bloggers on board in defining the how to’s […]

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