Whoosh (v.) to pass by very rapidly.
Everyone I know has had a super busy crazy year.
“How are you?”
“Super busy, I’m flat out. It’s crazy at the moment, haven’t got hours in day”
The last weeks of schools, kindergartens and outside school activities go into overdrive with carols, concerts, speech nights, graduations and finals matches. The busy year gets even busier in the lead up to Christmas.
Feeling overwhelmed becomes the norm we feel every moment we are awake. It is difficult to stop. If and when we do eventually stop for a few minutes, we feel guilty. I should be doing ______________ (fill in the blank). We never hit the off switch. There is always something to do; everything needs our attention and time.
This year seems to have flown by particularly fast. I say this yearly. Unprepared for the many events that grown ups have to be a grown up to deal with. Happy, sad, angry and the why do I even bother moments. Good and not so good memories created in an instant. Whoosh another day flies by, items not done move on to the next day’s to do list. The to do list grows and we are in a perpetual state of busyness.
Living in the moment, seems idealistic. We don’t have time to live in the moment. Young children with no concept of real time are good at living in the moment, and we rush them along too. “Hurry up, get a move on, we are going to be late” As we bundle them out the door. Our mental to do list replaying itself constantly, incase we forget to do something.
“Sorry I forgot, sorry I was busy, sorry I forgot to call, sorry I haven’t had a chance to reply to your email, or text,” Apologising daily is my normal.
I used to wonder why people would sign up to gyms and then never attend and keep to their exercise schedule. I’ve stopped wondering. I am that person, who drives past the gym more often than I visit. All good intentions replaced with to do’s.
Anxious, worried, stressed and overwhelmed that morning is here again and the to do’s all need doing today, especially the ones from last week, last month and even last year, ok and the year before that.
Memories of daydreaming in class at school where time dragged on forever. Watching the clock for the bell signaling the end of the day. Thinking it must be faulty, it is taking too long to reach 3.30pm.
There is no bell in anymore. Collapsing into bed is the sign that the day is over. Even then, the voice in our head still feels the need to remind us of things not done of things to do.
Whoosh and Christmas is here again. Where did the time go? I haven’t ticked everything off my list. I’ve tried to get it all done. Perhaps I didn’t try hard enough, the curve balls life threw in there with situations that were not expected sidetracked me. They depleted my emotions and energy, taking me with them. A mental shut down finally stops me from doing anything. Berating myself for wanting to nothing. The I give up; it is all too much type of day. I wallow, feel guilty, cry and eat chocolate.
The lessons learnt are sometimes impossible to see. Some situations may not have a lesson and are simply horrendous events that occur.
I have learnt is that living in the moment is hard to do as you have to stop the continual busy. We all have very different lives, problems and worries. What we care to show is nothing compared to what is actually going on in our world.
It has been a busy, eventful and emotional year. I’ve tried to tick off my to do’s and apologies to those that are waiting to hear from me. I’ll get there eventually. Reflecting back I like to think I’ve done ok. Nothing exceptional, ok is my new good.
I am looking forward to the school holidays, consciously aware of trying not to let the holidays whoosh by. Yes my children can drive me to distraction and my buttons occasionally get pushed but when by chance a good moment with my children occurs I will endeavour stop and make it last a little bit longer. I plan to play and ignore the housework (Nothing new) more often. The tough parenting days take forever to end but I know childhood does whoosh by too. My children are growing up, my Miss turns 18 next month. I’m growing older not wiser and the realisation that busyness is here to stay once you grow up scares me. I plan to stop a little more. The whooshing won’t slow down on its own. I am the only one that can try and slow it down even if it is just a few extra minutes here and there. It is not going to be easy peasy to do but I’m going to give it a go.
Wishing you the very best this break may bring, there’s always tomorrow to continue the to do’s.
Has it been a slow or fast year for you?