Alzheimer’s – My Mum has it and it Sucks!

Alzheimer’s Sucks!

I work with behavioural issues everyday, but this is still a very tough one for me to handle, it makes me angry that my vivacious, intelligent and wonderful mum has Alzheimer’s. I get so cross and upset at times I scare myself. But this is how it is and I cannot change her illness and we get on day by day.

As it nearly Mother’s Day  I wanted to say I love you mum. I know it’s hard for both of us somedays, you look confused, then the little twinkle in your eye  comes back you look around and  you look at me and call me “mum” and smile.

I say “I’m not your mum, I’m your daughter” you get the giggles and say ” You silly, of course you are my mum you look after me”

You worked so hard all your life , just to make sure we had what we needed. You helped so many and never complained. I do know now how very hard its must have all been for you, but that doesn’t really matter now because you can’t remember.

Alzheimer’s Lessons Learnt

I learnt so much from you, your kindness, always finding something nice in everyone, your devotedness to the church (I didn’t continue that path), the amazing frienships you formed and most of all your undeniable love for your children. If we were ever stuck, in trouble, you were there, no questions asked (till later) bailing us out.

Your passion for living was and still is infectious, you love music and singing and were the first to sign up to any party or social function. Much to dad’s annoyance of “You’re not going out again tonight”. You’d get dressed up and put on your green eyeliner, as it made your eyes look nice and head out that door, with us all tagging behind- to yet another party.

I remember the big Sunday lunches you and dad use to prepare- a Spanish feast and the house would fill up with friends, with laughter and dancing.

I remember your very minimilistic talk about boys and sex, it was brief but scared me – which was probably a good thing to have remained innocent and naive that little longer. You had me believing in Santa Clause till I was 10. The only thing slip up  was  one Christmas Eve, I heard dad moaning up the stairs as I lay in bed saying “Bloody heavy bike, its going to do my back in” and you laughing hysterically saying “SHHH you’ll wake up the kids”.

Alzheimer’s it’s better to laugh

You’ve forgotten how to speak English and only speak Spanish now. You’ve forgotten many many things, but  just as long as you remember  or can atleast feel this Mother’s day how much I love you  and how I treasure all our moments together the good and the not so good.

Thumbs up to you mum ( this makes her laugh hysterically when you give her a thumbs up), I know that you really are not aware of all that goes on and I’m sorry that you have Alzheihmers but your beauty and personality still shines through everyday. Love you x

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Nathalie Brown

Child Behaviour Consultant at Easy Peasy Kids
Child Behaviourist and researcher. Creator of "Less tantrums. More smiles". I look at the bigger picture and think outside the box when working with children and their behaviour. Their world is different. As adults we sometimes forget this. Happiness Creator in my spare time. Eater of chocolate and cake.

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  1. Gavin Daquip says

    Is extremely good article

  2. Purple_cath says

    Oh this must be so hard for you both. I’m sure your mum will know in her heart all that you do for her although she doesn’t emotionally recognise it. I hope your happy memories help your mothers day and also your own little people. You are giving an amazing gift xx

  3. Such a lovely and touching tribute. Wishing you both a Happy Mother’s Day for Sunday. Much love, Mx

  4. Your mum is so lucky to have you taking care of her.
    My Mother in Law has Alzeihmers also, it is so sad that an illness can rob you of life’s precious memories.

  5. YOU are amazing. YOU inspire me to be a better mother and the passion you have in caring for others, be it children, mothers or adults, is truly amazing and I am blessed to have you in my world. x

  6. Melanie says

    Thank you Nathalie for sharing. My dad has just been diagnosed with Alzeihmers and I know that we have a difficult road ahead of us. Your love for your Mum shines through in your words. Very touching and lovely to read.

  7. Dear Nathalie (and your family)
    our family has lived the hardship that is the terrible disease called Alzhimers , my father passed away 20/3/10 my little girls First Birthday. I mourned him as he slipped away slowly. I cried as the most Gentlemanly Man with manners all the airs and graces of time gone by disappeared, he was a true gentleman to every letter of the word, I grieved for him twice and am angry at Alzhimers for taking him away. I know there are many families dealing with this , it doesn’t make the journey easier. You are in my heart and thoughts
    Love to you and yours
    love and kind regards
    Wendy xoxo

  8. You are a fantastic daughter! give your mum lots of kisses and hugs tomorrow

  9. Hugs and kisses for you, Nathalie. This is so beautifully written. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you to pen. Take care. And a Happy Mother’s Day to you. xx

  10. Beautiful and sad and encompassing. That bond so important. Love to you xx

  11. Jamie Hendle says

    Happy Mother’s Day to you and your beautiful Mum.

  12. Gosh, I can almost touch the love you feel for your mum. What an amazing woman you are and what an amazing woman she must be. I have been caring for my MIL and could not do it daily. You not only do this but you clearly would not have it any other way. Your mum is so very lucky to have you. xxx

  13. A bit late for a Mother’s Day comment but reading various blogs and I was very touched by this one in particular.
    Caring for people is your forte Nat. God only gives us what he knows we can handle and sometimes we Mums call on YOU for extra support. You are one AMAZING person Nathalie and I am so blessed to have you on my side. This article about your Mum speaks volumes about the wonderful person you are. You are blessed to have each other. Though you may wonder sometimes what you or your Mum did to deserve this awful affliction, know this, karma has a way of sorting things out, be it good, be it bad. All your goodness will be rewarded in time, and in time, your Mum will remember again……the love for you, and the love you have for her. God bless you both. Kate xoxo

  14. Narelle says

    That was heart wrenching!! Your strength and love is awe inspiring. Blessing to you and yours xxoo

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