Moving Out !
We had packed the car up with all the necessary requirements for my son’s moving into halls of residence at university. I didn’t for a minute expect how this would impact on my life. Oh how I was looking forward to having the kids flown the nest and having time to do things as a couple that in the years of rearing children never seem to happen as their needs always seem to come first.We had decided we would get to the university and move all my son’s things into his room, go for lunch and do a supermarket stock up shop.
As the day wore on I became increasingly upset, trying desperately to hide my tears and distress.It hit me my baby was leaving home and I was inconsolable, I cried for a week. My son and I had a relationship in which we enjoyed one another’s company, had a laugh together , we had lots in common and would often gang up on his Dad to tease him about one thing or another.
Moving On
And he had gone, the house felt empty, my husband had no idea as to how to comfort me, he couldn’t there was this massive void and he was unable to fill it.I threw myself into my work to fill this void, I was a sales representative, I worked longer hours, conferences which in the past I hated as I really didn’t like being away from home became another distraction and socialising with work colleagues.
I then reached a point where I questioned my marriage, there was nothing hugely wrong with it, he wasn’t a bad husband, but we had nothing in common anymore, we didn’t communicate and on this basis I decided to leave him. We had come to the end of the road. I found myself a little cottage, all neutral and minimalistic and it suited me fine. This rocked both my husband and sons world. My husband couldn’t comprehend why and my son felt his whole foundation had disappeared.
This was to be my home for 2 years. Christmas time was always a huge event in our family home and even though we lived apart, I would go to the family home and recreate Christmas’s of past as a family unit. Many people thought this very strange, but things like this made me realise over time, my husband and I hadn’t come to the end of the road, we had simply lost our way for a while.
Moving to my Holiday Home
My husband and I are back together and have been for 5 years now, it took a bit of settling back into but we’ve worked and continue to work on our relationship, and things are good. The thing that speaks volumes about the man I married is that he refers to our 2 year separation as “When you had your Holiday Home”.
Author Bio:
This is a guest post by Sharon Egan who blogs at Life, Love & Laundry
Wow Sharon thanks so much for sharing this raw and honest account with us. I dread the time my Miss 15 packs her bags and goes on her gap year and then to uni. I missed her when she was awy for three weeks.
Yet I did exactly the same in my teens and my mum and dad got throught it and its great to see that you did too.
I also dread the time my 6 year old will be doing the same. I can’t imagine it at all! Just reminds me to treasure the time he is here and wants to talk and be with me.
Nellbe, I very much believe your input & closeness when your children are young stays with them through life, my son & I have still got a great relationship in to his adulthood. He graduated this year (proud mum). Trust you have done your job well when they go out into the world as confident, independent young people….and us mums try to hide ours tears. Your son will always want to spend time with his mum 🙂 x
Sharon
Thanks for sharing, we all walk the steps of our own personal journey and is individual for each of us.
I have learnt the importance of nuturing our relationships forever.
My daughter left home at a tender age which was painful but necessary and I shared in your feelings.
We all need to remember to be thankful for the health and wellbeing of our loved ones for many suffer and none of us know what is around the corner.
My heart often feels it is breaking as though my son has not been living at home for the last few years, he is now 30 and in the eyes of the world but 13 in reality and I believe will always remain a child.
Can I send you a huge hug Tracy, your comment is very thought provoking X
Wow. Thanks Sharon. My mum and dad split about a year after i left home and i feel that this might be some of the reason. What it has taught me is to keep working on my relationship with my husband. Our daughter is only 2 but i want for us to be ok when the time comes for her to leave the nest!
Elisha, life is all about lessons and learning from them isn’t it? It is important to have time together as a couple too. Lots of love to you and yours 🙂 xxx
I can’t even imagine further down the track when my little one leaves home. It seems ages away, but time goes too quick sometimes.
It does go quickly Cate, but you have lots of time to cherish. And believe me I cherish the moments with my son as an adult equally. I love his company and the time we spend together as adults is heart warming, fun and we laugh a lot, I am a very proud mum X
What a confronting time. I’m glad you found your way back together with your husband.
Me too Laureny, thank you X
What an honest and raw read. Thank you so much for sharing x
Its funny I was in York yesterday & was watching some parents unloading cars for kids embarking on the Uni journey & it took me right back, Thank you for comment Liz x