Teenage behaviour

Teenage behaviour “Do you remember your teenage years?” 

I mentor and work with  teenagers and am very lucky that they let me into their world.  I remember my teenage years as being rather confusing, feeling very self conscious, slightly awkward with a million and one questions in my head.

I was 100% sure my parents did not understand what I was going through and their views and opinions seem to be prehistoric. I wanted some freedom, I did not really want to decide my career path and be sensible every minute of every day.

Were you a perfect teenager? Did you get A grades all the time? Did you listen and agree to your parents every word ? Did you feel understood? Can you empathise with teenagers today, when you think back to your teenage years?

As a parent of a teenager and working with teenagers, I find myself reflecting back and really thinking about how I felt as a teenager helps my understanding of them a little more.

Teenage behaviour & Toddler behaviour

Remember your teenager, when they were a toddler? Just like a toddler, teenage behaviour is comparable to being a toddler a teenager  has more words to use, a bigger body to feed and some extra strong hormones raging through their bodies (think PMS x 10)

Toddler wants to exert their independence / Teenager wants to exert their independence

Toddlers asks why? / Teenagers ask why?

Toddlers question everything / Teenagers questions everything.

Toddler is developing into a child / Teenager is developing into an adult

Toddler sleep patterns change (lose a nap) / Teenage sleep patterns change (night owls)

Toddler are messy / Teenagers are messy.

Toddler wants to choose what they wear; gum boots, tutu and no top  / Teenagers want to choose what they wear; Emo, Goth, piercings, hair dyed etc…

Toddlers like saying No / Teenagers like saying  No

Toddlers have temper tantrums / Teenagers have mood swings

Toddlers dribble when teething / Teenagers dribble with braces or lack of sleep

Toddlers language can take some interpretation to understand  / Teenagers language can take some interpretation to understand  “2G2BT 511 “

Toddlers exhaust you  / Teenagers  exhaust you

Toddlers have attitude / Teenagers have attitude

Toddlers can be fussy / Teenagers can be fussy

Toddlers want to run free / Teenagers just want to be free

Toddlers want to explore /  Teenagers want to explore

Toddlers are minors / Teenagers are minors

Toddlers need their parents / Teenagers need their parents

Teenage behaviour; it’s not intentional!

Teenage behavioural issues, are not intentional or done out of  sheer malice. A teenager is a child  growing into adulthood. Teenagers need their parents to be parents as they have many friends at school. Teenage behaviour like all behaviour is changeable, because the majority of behaviour is a pattern or a habit.

Like a toddler who needs boundaries, a teenager needs them too. Like a toddler, a teenager that hears to many ‘No’s’ becomes desensitized to them.  Teenage behaviour is affected by may factors like their hormones, parents, peer pressure, school, social media, and regular media  TV shows, movies, music and magazines.

The majority of teenagers do want an easy life and to get on with their parents. But they are losing their innocence and naivety of childhood and  also get hit by the fact that this is what life is really about, it is not all fun and games. Many teens I speak to are disheartened with the realisation of the real world as they step over into the threshhold  of adulthood.

Teenagers love to talk and at times that is all they need, a listening ear to help guide them through the whirlwind of emotions they are feeling.

The teenage years do pass just like the toddler years, it can get bumpy, but you can have some fantastic moments too.

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Nathalie Brown

Child Behaviour Consultant at Easy Peasy Kids
Child Behaviourist and researcher. Creator of "Less tantrums. More smiles". I look at the bigger picture and think outside the box when working with children and their behaviour. Their world is different. As adults we sometimes forget this. Happiness Creator in my spare time. Eater of chocolate and cake.

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Comments

  1. My sister-in-law has a large family. She had teenage children and toddlers in her house. She admitted that the teenagers were hard work and she would prefer 4 toddlers to 2 teenagers.

    I put it down to experience. Having done the toddler thing a few times she knew what to expect and had ways to get through it.

    The teenage years were new to her so just like her teenager facing new things, so was my sister-in-law. This was the first time she was parenting a teenager. So they all kind of fumbled through it together.

    Love & stuff
    Mrs M

  2. I love this. What a wonderful post and very insightful and helpful.
    The teenage years scare me. I think because that is where I grew apart from my parents to a point of now as an adult I have zero interest in what they think, or their advice. I would HATE for this to happen between my children and me. But my parents failed me majorly as a teen and I struggle to forgive them.
    I am worried about HOW to keep the communication open. I would always like to think of myself as approachable by my kids, and that I will offer a supportive but honest ear, but how do you get them to keep opening up, or start opening up if they’ve shut off?

  3. I’d never noticed how similar teenagers are to toddlers. Thanks, that will be handy to remember.

    Oh, and I had to look up “2G2BT 511”. Thank goodness for Google.

  4. Phillip Cunningham says

    if only i had found this site when my kids were teenagers, they turned into something scary at that time but have mellowed a bit

  5. What a great post! As a mother of a 13 year old my hubby and I often say he has reverted back to a toddler!! Now it all makes sense! I agree with staying strong as a parent as they have their friends at school and sport. It was quite timely that I read this post, thank you 🙂

  6. So what you’re telling me is that my groundhog day is going to replay for another 15 years?!?! Or will they give me a break between the age of 3 and 13 ;). I went to boarding school. I was a good student but easily distracted and did a lot of things I hope my kids don’t. Teenagers need their parents around.

    • It will always be some sort of groundhog day with kids no matter what their age. There will be good times and all the other bits in between;)

  7. Alannah Shore (luvbooks) says

    I so agree with your comparisons of toddlers and teenagers. As a mum of four, who at times has had both toddlers and teenagers, I could enjoy toilet training and puberty at the same time. Mind you, having smaller kids is the best contraception for parents and big sisters as they know how much hard work kids can be!

  8. What a great post! It honestly never occurred to me that toddlers and teenagers were so similar, although come to think of it, they both throw a lot of tantrums. 🙂

    I generally got along well with my parents and wasn’t too horrible, but I remember some yelling and door slamming regardless. It’s the hormones I guess, I remember my emotions being all over the place and everything seeming like a huge deal.

  9. great post
    I was a great teenager
    Teenagers these days need discipline

  10. I love this and think that my teens behaviour is not intentional all the time. I have shared on my blog too.

  11. I came to write TARGET on your blog, I looked for a blog titled
    “Out of the Mouths of Babes or Funny things kids say”
    I couldn’t find one, but I had to share this:
    I was outside this morning when my 14 yr old son came out and said
    “Gee it is cold outside! Must have something to do with the weather!”
    After I finally stopped laughing, I told him how proud of him I am, such a clever boy!! ROFL

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