33 Excuses My Son Has For Not Needing A Shower

"The dirt is clean dirt"

“The dirt is clean dirt”

My son Mr 9. loved showers and baths. Then he started to grow up.

“Mum I don’t need  a shower tonight because….”

  1. I didn’t run today
  2. I had one yesterday
  3. I went swimming
  4. I got wet in the rain
  5. I sprayed dad’s deodorant on me
  6. I used a wet wipe under my arms
  7. I haven’t used the toilet much
  8. My spine hurts (on questioning he didn’t know where his spine was)
  9. My undies are clean -Look!
  10. I wiped my dirty feet by spitting on a tissue
  11. I walked slowly today
  12. I didn’t get hot today
  13. I had one the day before yesterday
  14. I don’t think my friend is having one tonight
  15. We can have long cuddles instead
  16. I haven’t jumped on the trampoline
  17. I need to finish writing my book
  18. At school I learnt some germs are good
  19. I haven’t picked my nose much
  20. It is the weekend tomorrow
  21. It is the holidays
  22. It is too cold, too hot, too light, too dark
  23. I have art tomorrow, so I might as well wait
  24. We should save water
  25. It’s too difficult to take my dragon onesie off
  26. I’ve picked the mud off
  27. My socks don’t smell
  28. It’s Christmas day
  29. It’s my Birthday
  30. When I read stories, no one ever goes to have a shower
  31. The dog has been licking me
  32. My hair is looking cool
  33. The dirt on my feet is clean dirt

Tell me what excuses have your children come up with to avoid showering?

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Nathalie Brown

Child Behaviour Consultant at Easy Peasy Kids
Child Behaviourist and researcher. Creator of "Less tantrums. More smiles". I look at the bigger picture and think outside the box when working with children and their behaviour. Their world is different. As adults we sometimes forget this. Happiness Creator in my spare time. Eater of chocolate and cake.

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Comments

  1. cat elizondo says

    Loved the excuses! Specially number 15!!

  2. Ha ha, mine are too young to try this on yet – but I can’t wait until they do!

  3. love the excuses!

  4. hehe!! Very compelling reasons! Although I hate showering since it often comes with the door open, seating and snacks prepared for two little ones and usually having to jump out quickly to resolve some kind of squabble! I joke a little but often shower at night once they’re in bed so I can savour the moment!! Or early in the morning before they wake – showering while they’re up and about is too tricky!!

  5. Oh Natalie- thank you for the laugh.
    Your son is quite right about #30. I don’t know of many books where children go off to take a shower 🙂

    P.S. I can’t stand having a shower either. I procrastinate for hours sometimes- he he!

  6. lol so funny!
    I’ve heard number 9 before from my 5 year old. How can boys undies possibly be thought of as clean after an entire day of play 😉

  7. Lol oh this made me laugh!
    Mostly my kids like to wash… once they get in there! But I hear a zillion excuses as to why my 6 year old should stay in bed for five more minutes every morning! LOL

  8. Hahaha this is so funny – my boys are still young so enjoy their nightly bath, thanks for reminding me it won’t last forever! I’ll enjoy it while it lasts 🙂

  9. Oh. My. Word! My daughter has all of the above reasons…and then some. I can totally relate!

  10. Too funny. I’ve just shared this list with my community of kidlit authors to see if we can do something about number 30 😉

  11. love them and so glad I’m not the only one to hear similar! My twins often use “I’m too hungry for a bath now” Go figure…logic of 4 yr olds i guess!

  12. Oh gosh, I have no hope. I can barely manage to get my Munchkin (8yo) in the shower twice a week as it is. What will it be like when he’s older? Of course, I can barely manage to get him out again!

  13. haha, some very creative excuses happening there. My personal favourite is number 32.

  14. What a creative little man you have there 🙂 I have an eternal negotiator too. At only 5 he is already a master of talking his way out of most anything. Last night he told me with innocent eyes that he didn’t need a shower and instead he’s going to go straight to bed, promising not to get of bed even once 😀 How could I so no to that? 🙂

  15. Heehehehe I have heard lots of them although not all!

  16. totally cracked me up! very clever, funny and inventive excuses!

  17. It’s nice to see in the comments that I’m not alone in the uphill battle to get my kid to shower. He has oily skin also and I’ve bought him everything for it, but it’s not going to work if he doesn’t use it. I am wishing he starts liking girls so he will wash himself off…

    On second thought… I don’t wish that. LOL

  18. These excuses made me laugh – my boys are 8 now and starting to resist the shower.

  19. Love the excuses.. Number 18 made me laugh!!

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