Where did I put my Happy?

Where did I put my Happy?

Thanks to Kids Business for giving me the opportunity to contribute to their Happiness inspires Happiness blogs. Happiness is one area that I strive to have  a little of everyday. So much so that I  run a monthly challenge a while back called My Happy Place as I  was really struggling to feel happy as caring for my mum who has Alzheimer’s was taking its toll on me. Alongside being a mother, a wife and running my own business. I was upset and felt guilty that I was not happy when my life did have so much to offer.

Finding my Happy

Working and studying behaviour, one area I have a passion for is happiness and the most important lesson I have learnt is that it is impossible to be in a state of happiness all the time. It is perfectly valid to feel a wide range of emotions: sadness, anger, dismay, worry, guilt etc… We are human and some days we can handle these emotions rather well and other days we push through the best we can and that is OK. Acknowledging and accepting that being happy all the time is not realistic is a start to finding happy moments in your day, however small that happy moment is. Our emotions make us who we are, at times just taking a minimal timeout for yourself can put things back into some kind of perspective.

 Happy in the moment

There are a number of ways to find your happy but it is also important to remember that  feeling just OK or simply feeling fine is a normal way to feel. Finding your happy can help you get through difficult days even if it means running away inside you head to find your happy. In our very busy world we are constantly on doing something and online what seems to be 24/7, reading about how we should be parenting, how to raise our children, how to be a domestic goddess and so on. I know I feel overwhelmed  and at times feel I cannot keep up with all the how – to’s. So now I choose carefully what I read, ignore what I do not resonate with and do what I feel is right in balancing or unbalancing my life.

Finding my happy is now easier and in very simple and ordinary day to day activities. My thirty happy in the moment list is a month worth of little things that make me smile, happy and sometimes just make me feel like me.

  1. Making my mum smile and laugh
  2. Making my children laugh
  3. Laughing with my Mr
  4. A good cup of coffee
  5. Going for a 10 minute walk
  6. Painting my nails
  7. Writing
  8. Reading blogs
  9. Looking through photographs
  10. Watching Mr 7 dance his way
  11. When Miss 16 sends me an I love you text
  12. Chocolate
  13. Walking on the grass barefoot
  14. Taking deep breaths
  15. Not sweating the small stuff
  16. Having a chat with a girlfriend
  17. Writing and sending cards to friends
  18.  A glass of Bubbles
  19. A shower (with no interruptions)
  20. Music and singing my way (loudly and out of tune)
  21. Ten minutes quiet time on my own
  22. Making others smile
  23. Finding a bargain at the op shop
  24. Playing with my kids
  25. Noticing the beauty in something I haven’t seen before
  26. Reading
  27. Watching a movie
  28. Eating Ice-cream
  29. A cleanish car
  30. Living more in the moment

Can you relate to any? I would be happy if you add any of your own too as your Happiness inspires Happiness

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Nathalie Brown

Child Behaviour Consultant at Easy Peasy Kids
Child Behaviourist and researcher. Creator of "Less tantrums. More smiles". I look at the bigger picture and think outside the box when working with children and their behaviour. Their world is different. As adults we sometimes forget this. Happiness Creator in my spare time. Eater of chocolate and cake.

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  1. Debyl1 says

    Love this post.Thankyou for making me feel normal for not finding my happy all the time, even though I am grateful for what I have.
    Even when we see how worse off others are the guilt that comes with not finding our happy can be overwhelming.
    Having a list to remind us is a great way of putting that smile back on our face and in our hearts x

    • It can be a vicious circle the guilt, the lack of happy, how we should feel beacuse of what we have but behaviour is complex our brains are very complex. Just trying your best, knowing somedays won’t be that great and picking ourselves up and continuing when we can. All very normal Nx

  2. I loved reading your thoughts about this, Nathalie. I’ve struggled with finding my happy from time to time too. And like yourself, I know it’s perfectly valid to feel other emotions – it makes us honest and authentic (if not only to ourselves, but to others too).

    I also choose carefully what I read, and try to find happiness in the details and the ordinary. I love your list! – because mine would look very similar! I love number 20 in particular! 🙂

    • We can spend our days looking for happiness and it really is simple things that can make us happy and we would not be real if we didn’t experience any other emotions, makes the happy all the more worthwhile when it comes along xx

  3. Denyse Whelan says

    Thanks Nat for such a good post and your 30 ways…mine is:
    Take my camera into nature & photograph what I love.

    I call taking photos my meditation because once I put my eye to the viewfinder I think of nothing but the shot, it's composition & the content. I relax and stay in the moment taking pics. D x

    • Hello lovely that’s a great one taking photos I’ll add that to my list, I just need to get a little better with our camera. Have a lovely Easter xxx

  4. Zanni Arnot says

    Beautiful! I found my happiness initially realising that I didn’t have to be happy all he time. Just being Ok was enough. Great article x

  5. Sharon Egan (@Sharonannmarie) says

    Totally relate to this, we can just feel so overwhelmed by the stuff we have to deal with. Hearing the kids laugh is a happy place for me especially when I am laughing with them, and a bath in peace, but little one comes in and says “what shall we talk about or shall I just sit on the toilet & talk” Hugs Nat X

    • They love to talk, which I find endearing, they just want to be with us, which shows how much they love us. Kids laughing is such a pick me up. Big Hugs Nx

  6. I would have to say, I really relate to this also.. Sometimes “stuff” is just bloody hard and sometimes it’s difficult to switch off.. I would have to say though all of my Loves are exactly the same as yours- Maybe we could be friends! 🙂 Love you XX

  7. . .
    Just found your blog, hello & greetings from another daughter dealing with a mummy with Alzheimer’s, it’s truly cruel & incredibly sad she’s being taken from us so early, slowly & painfully. My mum is at the stage where she’s mellow, talks to me like I’m a waitress, polite conversation, but has no idea who the 14 grandchildren belong to. She has days where she asks Dad who he is, he’s over the pain & explains, imagine that, after 57 years of marriage? Sure puts a dent in being happy to the core, but she’s in a happy place in her mind now, the last 5 years have been tough.
    I find the happy in so many things, I have 4 children watching me take the lead & love to have a mental list of fun things to talk about when my husband calls (from a war zone) as I have to keep him happy too. It’s not a burdeon, I embrace the responsbility to seek happiness, it’s hardly a chore, love Posie

    • Posie thank you for sharing your story, what an inspiration you are, Like you I do find it so mcuh easier to find happy now, it is in so many parts of my life. Unfortunately my mum no longer knows who I am and there is no no conversation but she laughs out loud and that is just what I need to hear and see.Big Hugs Nathalie xx

  8. Number 23. always brings a smile to my face 🙂 as do hugs from my girls.

  9. I love the photo of you with your Mum. It’s lovely.

    I have learnt that all emotions are transitory, regardless of whether they are pleasant or unpleasant. That said it’s always good to have something that can change the current emotional climate – a good silly dancing session and resulting giggle works well here. Especially at the 4pm crazy time-slot.

    So great to meet you at DPCO12.

    My friend who I forwarded your article on sensory perception disorder to, got a lot out of it and is looking to having her child assessed.

    Thanks so much for that. xx

    • A good silly dance always works well around here, we play a lot of music as it makes mum happy. Glad I could help your friend. If she needs any further assistance she is welcome to email me. Lovely meeting you at DP too, an awesome day xx

  10. I am happy being in a room full of friends and the room being silent or incredibly noisy with chatter

  11. What you say is so spot on but I sometimes think for me it’s sending the same message to my kids. I want them to be ‘happy’ too but not so much that they need to mask how they’re really feeling. I need to remember that sometimes they need to ‘find’ their happy just as much as I do.

  12. Love your list Nathalie and couldn’t agree more. I think it’s a nice day to do some barefoot walking in the grass xx

  13. Bec 'Mitchell' Milne says

    Parenting is like TARGET practice, you never know when you will get it right! 🙂

  14. TARGET
    Parenting is like TARGET practice, you never know when you will get it exactly right! 🙂

  15. Target Comp – Hi there, I'm so glad I found your blog. Your happiness tips are truly appreciated. I've been struggling with this a lot lately and have been diagnosed with depression. I'm determined to get back on track and this has been a fabulous place to start! x

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