Redefining Me

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Redefining Me

It’s funny how you can categorize your life into different segments.

I had:

My Youthful Era

My Singleton Era

My Married but Fancy Free Era

My Becoming Mum Era

And then there is now…………

Redefining Mum

What is now?  I’m having trouble defining who I am right now, what segment of my life am I currently living?

When I was single, how I look played a big part of my everyday life, what was in my wardrobe, self obsessed, just a little!

Then once I was married, spending money on clothes, going out, was a little less important, we bought a house, started renovating.

And then pregnancy!  I was never that enthused with being pregnant.  Excited about pending baby, definitely, but weight gain, the uncomfortable feeling associated with a growing life, not so much.

I have three children, and in between they were my excuse.

‘I can’t be bothered exercising, might as well wait until I’m done having babies’ was a term I was often caught throwing around.

Redefining Now

But now I am done having babies, now I am in that new segment or phase of my life.  No more excuses.  I need to establish who I want to be without neglecting who I actually am.

I am a mother, to three beautiful and needy children.  All under the age of six, they are highly dependent on my every move.  But I can’t use them as an excuse…. anymore.

I am currently embarking on the fitness challenge of my life.  I am trying to get fit.  I am running, for the first time ever!

I don’t want to wake up one day and reflect back on that person I used to be, maybe in my singleton era or perhaps, my married but fancy free era.

I want to know that I am the best I can possibly be, for me.  (And for me this is more than physical)

Recently a local paper ran an article about how woman running was on the rise, how woman registering for fun runs had more than doubled.

It doesn’t surprise me.  In a world that is embracing healthy living, so many of us are trying to find inner peace for the mayhem we caused to ourselves over eras gone by.

 Or is that just me?

What are you doing to embrace life for you right now?

And what motivates you to follow this path?

This is a guest post by Mandy Ferry who blogs at A Little Space Like Home

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Nathalie Brown

Child Behaviour Consultant at Easy Peasy Kids
Child Behaviourist and researcher. Creator of "Less tantrums. More smiles". I look at the bigger picture and think outside the box when working with children and their behaviour. Their world is different. As adults we sometimes forget this. Happiness Creator in my spare time. Eater of chocolate and cake.

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Comments

  1. I really love this post, I went through the same after having my daughter, felt lost inside myself. I still get days like that, I’m sure we all do, but I’ll keep striving and moving through the ups and downs of being a mother but i do try and remember that Nathalie is still here.

  2. Bec Frisina says:

    I can relate a lot with this post. I have just had my 2nd and last baby and now want to re-train in my job and lose a LOT of weight, 28 kgs in total. I have lost 14 and have 14 left to go.
    I know i need to be the fittest i can to give my sons the best possible in life.
    I too have embraced the running and although i am not very good at it, it`s growing on me :)

  3. Karen says:

    Great post, got me thinking as I wait for number 2 to arrive any day now. I’m still in mum mode, still wearing my ugg boots & no time to do my hair (or the energy). What will come next? It’s up to me to redefine myself as the person I want to be. But for now, I’m happy being mum!

    • it depends which day you ask me, which hat I’m wearing, I like to go out and run, doesn’t mean I don’t have ugg boot days lol. It’s a constant effort.

  4. I’m at a similar stage – finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, now that my youngest is 2, but wondering where I am in myself. It’s a whole new season of life – exciting and so important to explore new things and extend myself so I don’t get lost in motherhood.

  5. My definition at the moment is “waiting for one more”. Becoming the parent of two children instead of just one I’m thinking will be tricky!

    • Sure it’s tricky, but the most tricky part is when they are both upset, and you have to choose to console one over the other. But you do it and it’s worth it. Plus the joy of seeing them build a relationship together is worth it’s weight in gold.

  6. I can definitely appreciate this.
    Embracing life for me right now means getting back into drawing and designing…

    • Oh that sounds so exciting. I’m still trying to work out what I want to do when I grow up. lol. Could never really decide.

  7. For me, in any period of my life, I always find little bits of time to do something utterly for myself. it’s like my little personal thing in my otherwise interconnected with people life. I feel more accomplished and self directed this way.

    • I never used to be like that, but I think we are better as adults if we do. We have relationships with people outside our family that are certainly worth keeping, they help keep you sane too.

  8. Jessie Boan says:

    I am very guilty of the “when I have stopped having kids” excuse. Now pregnant with number 4 (in 5 years) I am hoping to have made some positive steps towards improving my health and life balance – probably in a year or two though!

    • Wow, congrats, you’ll most certainly be very busy. Don’t feel guilty, having babies is serious business, it requires a lot on our behalf physically and emotionally, everything will still be waiting for you when you are ready to embrace it.

  9. Right now I am not very motivated about my life but I think it is high time to do that. I see you and this amazing family and I am so happy about you! May be I should think in that direction!

    • You’ll work out what is right for you, remember everyone has their own journey, their own path to follow. Good luck!

  10. I so get this. I felt this way last year, but towards the end of the year things in my life changed and I am in a new era of my life. It can be hard adjusting.

    This is such a greta post, one all mums should read. x

    • Thanks Kylie, yeap life gives us many stages, and sometimes that invovles making life easier, and sometimes more challenging.
      You’re very inspiring I must say and have always given me loads to think about. Love this blog world!

  11. Wow! I’ve just been going through this of late, and it was the whole reason I started blogging & reading other people’s blogs! After having my first child I returned to work, then had some other family things to focus on. After baby 2 I had resigned from work and was like “ok, what now??!?” So I’ve set myself 40goals to complete that cover the various areas of my life (family, health, social, hobbies, home organisation etc.) to try to figure out a balance & who I am again! Thanks so much for sharing – its so wonderful to find out that I’m not alone! :)

  12. Claire Lewis says:

    I totally understand where you are coming from here.
    Except that I am still in the ‘having babies’ stage of life, I have already hit the time when I need to re-define and have also decided that finally getting fit is the most important priority for me right now – before another ‘having baby’ stage comes along!

  13. bubble936 says:

    This is really very inspiring and motivating post. I think after having kids our life changes forever.And at one stage we really want to do something for ourselves without making excuses. This post has really made me think that to keep life active and entertaining we should really set some goals for us.

  14. What a good article! Very well written

  15. Harmony says:

    After having my first daughter i struggled a bit with who i was, what i was doing and where i was going, my whole world seemed to have come to a complete stop! it was no longer about me or about me and my husband. We now how someone else who had to come first! i struggled with that for a little while, and than realised for my daughter to be completely happy in life i had to be! so i decided it was about time i started doing what i wanted to do. So i did a uni preparation course than applied to do my Bachelor of Midwifery! i have now just completed my 2nd year, had another baby girl in my first year of uni, and cannot wait to complete my 3rd and final year and than get a job doing what i have always wanted to do! I love hearing my 3yr old ask me if i am going to “catch” any babies today. She is proud of her mummy and i am proud of me now that i have finally found ME :)
    Thank you for this blog! it certainly is inspiring and it is always good to hear that your not alone :)

  16. silvana gutierrez p says:

    love this post sometimes we think we are the only ones going through some stages where we think we are the same ones of course our life changes when we married or commit and more with kids but we have to redifine us

  17. Tara Debono says:

    Thank you, got me thinking about my life….i’m still in “mum” mode alot of the time, and really need to embrace life a little more and redefine myself. Keep the great posts coming 😀

  18. jen cole says:

    All you young mums are so inspiring.Don’t forget to take time out for yourselves every now and then.Although sometimes seems impossible :)

  19. Simone hodder says:

    I really enjoyed reading this post. I go through this a lot especially now my kids are a little older I have stopped using them as an excuse & started living my own dreams now & am enjoying a new finding out where I fit in now.

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