Blow me out respectfully!

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Blow me out respectfully!

I had a small window to go necessity shopping yesterday as in groceries and some nighties for mum. A well known candle shop had a sale on. I love candles especially the ones that have a yummy smell. As I have not been home for over two weeks for longer than a few hours, my house smelt, also the dog had destroy a bin bag all over the main living area, hence a musty smell oozing throughout the house.

So I grab two candles, rush up to the counter to pay as currently I am always in a hurry and this is the painstaking conversation that followed.

Have you used our candles before?”

” Yes I have” They are just candles….

“Do you have a wick clipper and know how to prepare the candle for use?”

“Yes”  now I am being forced to lie, I want to pay and leave. I  use scissors to cut the wick and I just light the candle with matches or a lighter.

“Do you know the best way to put the candle out?”

I pause I know this is a trick question I want to say “I throw a bucket of water of the candle to put it out” instead I hear myself saying

“I blow it out gently like this” and actually show the sales assistant how I blow it out.

She shakes her head in a No, No, No kind of way and looks at me like I need assistance  and some teaching in the instructing of candle usage.

“No, that is not the best way you need to purchase a snuffer and to cut the candle you should purchase a wicker trimmer and a turbo lighter, to light the candle”

I just want my candles, with the amount of stuff going on in my life right now , I want to grab my candles and run.

“No it’s OK I would like just to buy the candles”

“OK my dear, but they won’t burn like they should and candles need to be respected”

My God has the world gone mad, yes I do appreciate the finer intrinsic art to candles but give me a break, they are for my house, not a show room or beauty parlour, I am the mother that can burn toast three times in a row, so I can hopefully manage to burn a candle with respect or no respect, it is a candle we are talking about here not a human being.

“Any way my dear I am giving you this pamphlet full of instructions on how to care for your candle, take the time to read it carefully before you use the candles, so that you do not have any accidents and the candles feel respected”

Thank the heavens there is an instruction pamphlet for the candles, I can drive a car, be a mother, a carer, a wife, run my own business, parachute out of a plane, teach a class of 40 children, dismantle my dryer and fix it and put it back together again (OK I had 2 left over screws)  and yet I do not have the capability to treat a candle with respect.

I managed a wonky smile as she the wrapped my candles to within an inch of their life, even though I had said not to bother they were not a gift but I understand her passion and her right to respect the candles. I could hear her making a call as I left probably to Candle Headquarters “Yes I’m sorry I sold two candles and I am not sure whether they will make it and burn respectfully”

I have managed to light the candles without reading the instructions I was respectful –  go me.

 

Is it me or are instructions taking over the world ?

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Nathalie Brown

Child Behaviour Consultant at Easy Peasy Kids
Child Behaviourist and researcher. Creator of "Less tantrums. More smiles". I look at the bigger picture and think outside the box when working with children and their behaviour. Their world is different. As adults we sometimes forget this. Happiness Creator in my spare time. Eater of chocolate and cake.

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Comments

  1. bahahahahaha.
    hilarious.
    Back in the day, when I was experimenting with everything. I delved into Wicca. I learnt how to respect candles and blowing on fire is disrespectful to the element of fire or something. I could never find a resonably priced snuffer so I used a teaspoon.
    When my then boyfriend blew out some candles and managed to blow black wax all over our white walls, I then realised there was a practical reason for the snuffing also. To respect your walls!
    go forth and blow respectfully and carefully and may your house smell beautiful and your walls be wax free.

    • Wow ‘experimenting with everything” go you 😉 love the teaspoon idea will use instead of blowing to aoid the perils of black walls. Although right now the house is in a state so it wouldn’t really make much difference. Love to you gorgeous Nx

  2. I had to laugh reading this post – talk about upselling! I never trim the wick on a candle, just light and go. Often the candle just burns itself out…. OK, so that’s near the end of its life…

    • They also upsell their rewards card. I think for me it was more that I was in such a rush. the candles are lit and smell lovely xx

  3. I love this :) I know the store – it’s customer service on overload.
    The candle thing is a little silly – but sadly there are silly people out there – candles in front of curtains, clothes drying close to heaters which end up burning houses down.
    The rules are there for the people who don’t think – but they probably wouldn’t read the instructions anyway!

  4. Love this story Nat…. it’s always when we are in a rush. Upselling! Candles, love them too. Glad at the end of it all you were able to smile. Enjoy them, and the brief respite you are getting at the moment. Sending you lovely warm, candle scented thought! Sooz

  5. That is hysterical. Not so funny for you in the moment trying to get out of the shop but still soooooo funny to read about.

  6. Oh my! I think someone seriously needs a life! ‘So the candles feel respected? ‘ I cannot believe she was serious!

  7. Debyl1 says:

    I just arrived home from seeing mum and needed a good laugh.Thankyou for that.Hilarious.I know the feeling when you are in a hurry and the shop assistant is doing the old upsell that they are told to do and you stand there with a polite smile through clenched teeth..Bless em.
    I also learnt something.I never knew to cut the wick.
    Thanks again for the laugh.Big hugs.xx

  8. Yes, I am also familiar with the store and the thought, “Would you like fries with that?” has crossed my mind once or twice! However, I also love that they have such a passion for their product and are trying to create an experience that aims to slow down our usual (and your totally unusually crazy) hectic pace. That’s what candles are about after all.

    So… now I know what to buy you 😉 A candle snuffer!

  9. See it’s all your fault for entering their Sacred Zone in a hurry. Just *what* were you thinking? Then taking away this poor woman’s moment to shine and enlighten. HA! I loved that. You write hilariously. I do think we’re heading down a crazy path of being told what to do and how to do it, everywhere we turn! This will only attract rebellion- like people in a hurry rushing into a “Relaxation Experience” store. xxxx

  10. In the end Nat there are always going to be those who are a tad on the loopy side and feel the need to personify inanimate objects.
    Next thing dog poo will be talking to us!

    • I have studied through behaviour a whole section on people who love inanimate objects, amazing. Hope you are well beautiful xxxx

  11. I love how you actually showed her how you put out the candles…and she still wasn’t convinced.
    Yes, instructions are taking over the world. That’s why we’re put on this earth…to make sure we don’t listen to them :)

    • Thanks I was very pleased with my blowing out demo. Yes way too many instructions every where time to do our own thing to a degree xxx

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