Manners for children starts with YOU ! Thank you

Manners for children they learn what they see

I went out for dinner last night, a last minute impromptu decision with my hubby and kids.  We went to a delightful Thai restaurant where the food was divine and the service was great.

The downside for me, was observing and listening to the other people having dinner there and their lack of basic manners.

They treated the staff, with no respect. They barked orders and there were certainly no Thank you’s, when their meals, drinks or tables were cleared. Now I understand its’ a restaurants and the waiters and waitresses are just doing what they are paid to do, but do we have to be so nonchalant about saying Thank you.

The table next to us had a group of very well dressed, made up ladies, not a single hair out of place and extremely well  spoken,  for all their class, they had not one  Thank you for the waitress that was serving them.  In fact it took all my will power not to go over and give them a quick lesson on manners.

There were families, there with the children, speaking to the staff with such rudeness, that I felt embarrassed.

It really is not hard to say Thank you, it makes someone feel appreciated whatever they have done for you means you value it no matter how big or small.

Manners for children is role modelling by you

How do our children learn their manners? They learn from watching the adults around them. There is no one in this world no matter what they do or who they are that doesn’t merit our respect for a thank you if they have done something for you. I don’t care if it’s their job to do it, a Thank you goes a long way.

So when I pull aside to let you pass in your car, acknowledge it with a wave, that means Thank you, when  I let you go in  ahead of me in the shopping queue because as you say ” I only have 4 items”  a smile or a thank you would be great, not mutterings under your breath that I have a full trolley. The supermarket is for shopping.

Well thats the end of my whinge, Thank  you for reading.

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Nathalie Brown

Child Behaviour Consultant at Easy Peasy Kids
Child Behaviourist and researcher. Creator of "Less tantrums. More smiles". I look at the bigger picture and think outside the box when working with children and their behaviour. Their world is different. As adults we sometimes forget this. Happiness Creator in my spare time. Eater of chocolate and cake.

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  1. Absolutely agree with you. No one in our house gets anything without using their manners, even mum and dad. Our saying is “you’re nothing without your manners” (pretty old school saying… but it works).
    Whenever the kids are given something when we’re out (cafe, restaurant etc) i always make sure they say thankyou to the lady or man who serves them, even if they have to copy what i say like “thankyou very much that was a lovely hot chocolate”.
    Another great post – thankyou!!!

    Em xx

  2. Thank you for posting this! You are so right!

    It is so easy to say, yet so many people just don’t even think of it. It is also very easy to send someone a thank note or card or message when they have gone that extra mile for you. Yet so many people just think it’s too much effort.

    I am also an advocate for saying thank you properly, not “Thanks” or *shudder* “Ta”. Saying it properly means that it is meant and heard. And if you can do it with eye contact, they you are a winner!

  3. Great post! My husband and I even say thank you to each other for washing up. If you lead by example, children will follow. My 3yr girl has beautiful (she sometimes forgets, but we remind her gently) and so does my 7yr boy. It is only laziness that stops manners. So thank you for the post!

  4. Completely agree!!! Manners are so important and where else will kids learn them if not from their parents- we are working on “ta” with my older son now. He knows the meaning and will give me something if I ask but he is yet to say it himself. He will get there!

    He does do itadakimasu and gochisousamadeshita signs (by putting his hands together- this is what we say in Japanese before and after eating) before eating though and after eating which is nice.

    Thanks also for your recent comment on my WW post.

  5. Catherine says

    I will be returning to work from maternity leave shortly and I was concerned that having spent the last 12 months with a toddler and new baby I would be saying “I didn’t hear please or thank you” to my colleagues. Now I look forward to quoting that line!

    I’m thankful that I discovered Easy Peasy Kids (only in the last month. I wish it had been sooner) Thank you for all the wonderful posts.

  6. Love the post Natalie. Think is it so true. I am now at the stage where both of my children just volunteers thnak yous and pleases most of the time and I feel so proud they do. I hate to remind them but I use this look whenever they forget and they know what is missing!

  7. So, so true. I’m a big one for manners. Three-year-old Ella has always said please and thank you (bar the odd lapse in memory!!). She’s even started saying “ ‘scuse me” when others are talking and she’d like a turn. Children learn by what they see and hear.
    Great post, as always!! xx

  8. Oh YES! I completely agree. The worst I’ve ever witnessed was when my girlfriend had an American friend visiting and she was SO rude. No “please” or “thank you” just ” I want, want, WANT”. I almost smacked her! Eventually one of her travelling companions spoke up and told her what he (& we) thought. Thank goodness; in the meantime the rest of us were totally overcompensating on the Pleases and thankyous to make up her behaviour. Awful!

  9. I have always been a proud mummy when getting comments about my little ones saying ‘please’ and ‘thankyou’ when they first learnt to talk. It isn’t hard to teach and very easy to learn.

  10. Pretty good post!! The thoughts you shared about how to learn manners of our children is really superb. I assume that your post is admirable for appreciations. I’ll come again to study more. Thanks 🙂

  11. Thank you guys! I always liked the catch people/kids doing the right thing n thank em model 🙂

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